. . . and whatever else you do, don’t go looking for beer in homes where you don’t live.

Money quote from today’s Sun-Times:

A thirsty thief stabbed a man with a corkscrew after he burst into two Bucktown apartments in search of beer in the early hours of Saturday, authorities say.

Hotel event coordinator Tim Snyder, 36, forced his way into a building on the 1300 block of North Dean around 4 a.m., Assistant Cook County State’s Attorney Aileen Bhandari said.

He headed straight for the fridge in one apartment, then punched a man and left when he couldn’t find any beer, Bhandari said.

Hate to think about what hotel this guy coordinates events for: the Bates Motel, maybe?

And our Booze Quotation for the Day:

Wine makes a man better pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others.

~ Samuel Johnson

That applies double for beer when you’re looking for it in someone else’s house.

Equals this:

The Elgin police said they used Facebook to track down a 22-year-old customer of JB’s Pub, 297 S. McLean Blvd., who stole five bottles of liquor from a cooler and ran away from the pub, leaving behind his cell phone, jacket and shoes Thursday night. Police said they looked up the man’s Facebook page on the phone, and one posting there said, “If the cops have my phone, you don’t know me,” while another boasted about having stolen the booze, police said.

My favorite detail: he left his shoes? What sort of moron. . .oh, never mind. A very drunk facebooking moron.

Hence, today’s Booze Quote:

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink.

~ Lord Chesterton

Animals also did not invent shoes, or Facebook.

Need a new Liver? They’re working on it.

Science is our friend. . . .

Our neighbors across Devon, Uncommon Ground, have a great calendar of music and other events-but they close earlier than we do! So after hearing some music, come across the street for a nightcap.

Y’all

You may notice if you check out our Neighborhood Arts and Culture section that there are some great plays up right now in Rogers Park. Go see Count of Monte Cristo at Lifeline while you still can-and they’ve extended to November 13 based on enthused audiences and great reviews.

And at Theo Ubique (at the No Exit on Glenwood, just a block north of Lifeline) Starting Here, Starting Now, a musical that’s gotten great reviews.

Check ‘em out, then come to Cunneen’s for a drink after.

And Today’s Booze Quote:

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says ‘Love your enemy.’”

Frank Sinatra

Not in the usual sense-but grants for small businesses from Boston Brewing Co, the makers of Sam Adams. Check out the Tribune story, and pitch ‘em on your business idea, then celebrate with some Sam Adams at Cunneen’s.

And our Booze Quote of the Day:

A woman drove me to drink and I never had the courtesy to thank her.

~ W C Fields

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ~Henny Youngman

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~Henny Youngman

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. ~Frank Sinatra

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. ~Jack Handey

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. ~W.C. Fields

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